Unlock Your Best Self: The Power of Positive Psychology
Do you often find yourself exhausted and overwhelmed, pulled in a million directions by the demands of work, family, and life's general hustle? Women tend to put everyone else's needs before their own, leaving little time for proper self-care. But what if you could transform your mindset and habits to reduce stress, boost happiness, and start living your best life? The growing field of positive psychology provides a robust roadmap for doing just that.
The Science of Happiness
When you hear the word "psychology," you might picture someone lying on a therapist's couch discussing childhood issues. For decades, the field focused primarily on diagnosing and treating mental illness. While incredibly valuable, this "negativity bias" overlooks the other half of the human experience - our incredible capacity for positivity, growth, and resilience.
Positive psychology aims to complement traditional psychology by studying the factors that allow humans to thrive. Just as doctors study disease to understand health, positive psychologists explore our strengths, virtues, and the roots of happiness. With insights from ancient philosophies and modern brain science, it reveals how small, sustainable habits can yield enormous dividends for our well-being.
The origins of positive psychology stretch back centuries, with ancient Greek and Eastern philosophers pondering the secrets of human happiness and virtue. Over time, critical thinkers continued building upon these foundations. In 1906, William James explored ideas around optimal human functioning. The 1950s saw the spread of humanistic psychology across Europe and the US, including Abraham Maslow's famous hierarchy of needs – he was also the first to use the term "positive psychology" in his 1954 book Motivation and Personality.
The modern positive psychology movement kicked off in 1998 when Martin Seligman, a name you'll hear from famous psychologists like Adam Grant and Angela Duckworth, pioneered new research advancing the field. In the 2000s, Dr. Barbara Held led efforts to integrate positive psychology with more traditional therapeutic approaches, giving rise to what some call the "second wave" of the discipline. This holistic view – acknowledging that life contains positive and negative experiences – resonates with my philosophy of cultivating well-being through moderation.
Where is the field going in the future as we all ride the artificial intelligence (AI) wave? Martin Seligman and Abigail Blyler are researching ways ChatGPT can help compress the timeline for coaching and therapy. Their exploratory research published in September 2023 shows that using ChatGPT to assist with creating the client’s narrative can reduce the time it takes to get to the intervention. This reminds me of the hope inspired by IBM Watson when it promised to help doctors search and sort through all medical research to speed up identifying and diagnosing medical issues. Watson was eventually sold and lurks in the background today due to various missteps. The technology and potential are sound, and the new wave of AI tools may get us there this time. I had an engaging discussion with my favorite AI services about my concerns about AI providing actual counseling because I disagree that AI should be involved in selecting our actions. Our conversation made me feel comfortable with AI assisting with research, organizing information, and perhaps roleplaying activities before clients move into the real world with their new behaviors. These activities are great ways for AI to assist coaches and therapists in spreading healing to more people while preserving the benefits of human-to-human connections. I’m excited to see how the profession grows with AI to address the world's enormous mental health epidemic.
Habits for a Happier Life
We don’t have to wait for technology to lead the way to transformation. Many transformative positive psychology techniques are straightforward and cost absolutely nothing. By incorporating a few into your daily routine, you can start reaping the benefits quickly:
Mindfulness: Practices like meditation, deep breathing, or being present can reduce stress, boost emotional resilience, and improve focus. My favorite technique is a 4-4-8 breathing method: inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, and exhale for eight. Breathing techniques can activate the body’s relaxation response and calm the nervous system. The longer, complete exhale induces a tangible relaxation response within three rounds. My more extended practice is repeating this pattern for 15 minutes. It’s like I’m a new person afterward!
Learning: Engaging in activities like learning a new language, painting, or music composition enriches your life and enhances brain health by building new neural pathways. These activities encourage an open mind and reduce the fear of failure, fostering a growth mindset that benefits all areas of life. As we live longer, building a learning practice can also help with the anxieties of growing old.
Self-Talk: We’re often our own harshest critics and have a loud Inner Critic making noise in our heads. Developing a practice of positive self-talk can shift your mindset during challenging moments. Create a list of affirmations that resonate with you, such as “I am capable” or “I can handle this.” Repeating these affirmations creates your Inner Advocate and can help maintain healthy self-esteem and a positive outlook. Break the default routines and practice the labels you want to hear–strong, beautiful, loved, talented–everything the Inner Critic would hate.
Gratitude: Regularly practicing gratitude can alter your brain’s neurochemistry, releasing mood-boosting neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine. Keeping a gratitude journal and reflecting on things you’re thankful for can help you focus on the positive aspects of your life.
Connections: I'll admit that "networking" makes me cringe. It's become so laden with social media posturing and professional ladder-climbing connotations. But if I take a breath and look past that surface interpretation, I'm reminded of the more profound value of authentic social bonds.
The people in our lives, casual acquaintances or close loved ones, provide vital support systems. Emotional support from trusted confidants lets us be vulnerable. Informational support from knowledgeable friends and mentors expands our perspectives. Even small interactions like the barista who starts your day or the contractor who renovates your kitchen represent a reciprocal exchange of service and payment.
Recognizing the web of support surrounding you is critical to battling feelings of isolation. From there, you can thoughtfully invest in the most nurturing connections. Simple acts like learning a service provider's name can strengthen your sense of belonging and community. Social ties, cultivated with care, become a grounding force for well-being.
Starting Your Journey
Like most meaningful change in work and life, adopting a positive psychology mindset requires commitment, not a fleeting resolution. But by embracing these deceptively simple habits, you may be amazed at how much more grounded, confident, and joyful you begin to feel.
At Better Habits LLC, our coaching programs help women like you implement the principles of positive psychology and lasting well-being. Whether you're striving for less stress, better relationships, or simply more job satisfaction, we provide personalized guidance and a supportive community.
You have the power to shape your reality through your habits and mindset. Isn't it time you unlocked your best self? Visit us at GetBetterHabits.com to begin your transformative journey today.
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